re: THE FINAL SOLUTION OF THE CELEBRITY PROBLEM


( this was anonymously posted as a comment upon our website, but I feel it should be highlighted. If the parties concerned do not wish it to be brought to the public’s attention, please let us know, and we will take appropriate action. If they would like us to highlight it further, again, let us know. )
re: THE FINAL SOLUTION OF THE CELEBRITY PROBLEM
file-name: The Execution of David Bowie


Q: You are informed that you are being interviewed by [ ]
Do you understand the reason for your detention, and for this interview?
A: I understand that you and those with you have positions of authority and rank, and uniforms, and medals, and guns. I understand your weapons. I understand also that you are human beings with all the usual human frailties and some new ones all your own. I know that I’m here because chance has brought me here to face you, and I face you without fear. Does this answer your question for the record sufficiently?
Q: We have found the dead body of the celebrity musician and actor known to the world as David Bowie.
A: He was also a banker. He set up his own bank on the internet in the late 1990’s, issuing credit cards with his own face on the plastic, like Apollo on the Amex card. He was an artist too, and he made the Stock Exchange a medium of artistic expression. Let’s have all the facts correct, shall we?
Q: It was important to you that Mr Bowie was a banker?
A: Everything is important to me, especially that the fact he had to be executed. I mention it for the record.
Q: When you were arrested we found in your possesion a weapon with traces of Mr Bowie’s DNA Do you recognise this hunting knife, with 8-inch serated blade? Your own DNA is also present on the handle.
A: Of course. Naturally.
Q: Do you admit to taking the life of David Bowie?
A: I admit nothing. I claim responsibility. I claim authority and authorship.
Q: Why? What is your motive for this ‘execution’?
A: He knew it was coming. He was an acolyte of Dionysus, and on many occasions had taken on the form of the god to enhance his power. David Bowie had already killed himself in various personae which he knew had to be sacrificed in Dionysian ritual so that he, as a celebrity, could thrive, and rise to a higher level, as if transcending even death, like the pagan god which he offered himself up to. He murdered and drank the blood of the golden boy, sperm and urine and the dust of stars, and in doing so he rose to the state of demigod. Bowie was well aware of the fertile power of blood rites, and the value to himself of inducing mass hysteria. He bathed in menses, and he wore the head-dress of the Minotaur.
Q: You claim Mr Bowie drank blood and sacrificed victims how do you know this?
A: These are the facts, as you know very well, even though you choose to pretend otherwise. Their significance is perfectly clear to you all, as it was him. He showed me in my dreams that this is not reality.
Q: Please then, for the record, describe the facts as they happened
A: When I approached, he watched me, and I believe that he knew the time had come. Something touched him. His face was blank of all his personalities, and I saw myself reflected like a flame in his two different-coloured eyes.
He had arranged a meeting,the time and place of which I had discovered during my research into the Bowie Trademark share price and movements in his investment portfolio. I was collaborating subconsciously with Bowie on the presentation of Bowie-Bank and his economic choices as a work of Fine Art, trading in Futures like a brush-stroke on canvas. The timing of the execution could not have been more auspicious. Perfect.
Q: Where precisely did this take place?
A: He had stepped into the foyer, through those huge glass doors and all the security which makes that place look like such an elegant modern fortress, all white marble and shining steel. How could he feel anything but beautifully safe and sound and comfortable? He did not seem like a pop star or a movie star or a celebrity of any kind in fact. Did you know that Bowie once claimed, or someone claimed on his behalf, maybe Angie, I’m not sure, that David Bowie could turn his charisma on and off like a power supply, at will, so that he could be a superstar one moment, getting maximum attention, and at the next minute he could turn it off and become almost invisible, and fade into the shadows or the ordinariness of the surrounding space. That’s interesting, don’t you think? It’s a philosophy of the Sufis that spiritual power of the highest order shows itself by the ability to become at one with the anonymous, divine presence. I know that secret too. That is how I was able to enter the bank, walk up close to David Bowie straight through his aura of protection, and end his existence in this realm – and then leave the building, without being troubled by the security guards or alarms.
Q: You stabbed him three times, this is correct?
A: Please, savour the moment. Experience it. I was even closer to him than I am to you now, and I was aware of our positions relative to the digital surveillance system, which I knew was being hacked into at that very moment and downloading live or should I say streaming transported anyway to Bowie’s official site. I smiled, and he returned the smile, and he recognized me as his un-maker, and then, only then, I took out the dagger. He saw before him the director of his death scene, and how it had been written for him. He understood immediately the significance of the time and the place our closeness to his chosen star. As I said, he already knew. And then, as you say, the blade flashed, silver and red.
[Questions 13 to 17 are concerned with technical details regarding the hacking of the surveillance system streamed live on the internet via the web-site at ( ) and are not printed for reasons of security.]